20 year anniversary

Has it really been 20 years?

Love this man more than ever now.

We enjoyed a couple of days at a little resort outside of Jackson, WY.

Saturday we drove from Jackson through Yellowstone Park to Cody to watch Jackson play his first football game, then headed back.  That took pretty much the whole day, but we enjoyed the travel together.

I love sharing this day with my parents, my sister Rhonda and Doug, and my grandma and grandpa Weaver.

Blessing #48 My Dad, Var Selle

It has been 25 years today, since my dad has left this earth.  I did write a big long post last year about him, but since this year I'm doing the 52 Blessings Project, I had to add my dad as a blessing.  Even though it has been 25 years, my dad still has an impact in my life and how I live it.  This past week I have been reading through his life story that he wrote throughout his life.  He stopped about 1 year before he passed away, ending with his entry on becoming a stake patriarch.  I am so thankful for his writings, I have gotten to know him better, and have started to read some to my kids so they can know their grandpa.  I so wish Sam had a chance to meet him.  I know they would have gotten along so well, they are so much a like (I think anyway).  I was very blessed to have him as a father, even though it was a short 16 years.  I'm thankful for the plan of salvation, and the sacrifice of our Savior,  so that we can all be together as a family again.

24 Years Ago - My Story

It has been 24 years, and I still remember the feelings and details of the last day of my dad's life, like it yesterday.

I was 16 years old, and it was 5 days before Christmas. Dad had had heart problems in the past, but had always made it through the surgeries. This time his heart must have been done, because it just stopped. He had just eaten dinner and was sitting at the table with my mom. My little brother Aaron was in the other room, and the rest of the kids were gone. My mom said he turned to her, (they were still sitting at the table side by side), and he just fell into her lap. I was at mutual, delivering gifts to a widow and her children (what irony). When I returned home and walked into the house, it felt different. Nobody was home, the dishes were still on the table, when an older couple from our ward, that lived in the mobile home court behind us, came around the corner and told me that my dad had another heart attack and had been taken to the hospital. When I have heard this news before, I always felt that things would be o.k. With this news I felt immediate urgency to go get my sister Anny, and go to the hospital. As I was leaving out the back door, the phone rang, I kept going but half waiting to see if there was more news. I hear footsteps running out the back door and toward me. The older woman told me that my dad was gone. I burst out into tears, as I started to leave. She wanted me to stay and calm down, but I kept running thinking I had to get to Anny, she needs to know.

It was snowing and the roads were slick. I was driving as fast as I could without sliding off the road. When I got to the house where Anny was, I rang the doorbell and asked her friend, Pam, if she was there. When Anny came to the front door, all I could see was her face, nothing else, no sounds, nothing. There were a few people at the house, so I was trying to talk soft so not everyone would hear. I was holding her face (I think) and told her "You need to leave", she said "What"? I said "You need to leave", she said "What"? So I think I yelled "DAD DIED!" All I heard was a gasp in the background, Anny started to cry, we hugged the whole way out to the car. We drove home and waited for mom and the rest of the family to get there.

What I remember the rest of the night were lots of people at the house, I was sitting on the blue couch in the family room most the night, and our home teacher came over, sat down and asked if I was doing o.k. I'm not sure what time I went to bed, but when I awoke in the morning, it took me a few minutes to realize that the night before wasn't a dream.

We had two weeks off for Christmas break, I had friends come visit me, one that wasn't a close friend, but was very impressed that she would come even though she didn't know me very well. I looked at her differently since then and obviously still remember her gesture. It was a very somber time, a special Christmas, especially opening presents from dad. When it was time to go back to school, I remember walking through the halls in a daze, feeling strange to be back to "real" life and daily routines again. I felt like everyone was looking at me, although no one probably had a clue my dad was gone. (my class had 600 students).

The one regret I have, and still am not over I guess, is earlier that day, after school, I was running down the front stairs, dad was there and asked if he could talk to me for a second. I told him....not now, I've got to go. That was the last I saw or talked to him. Oh, if I would have just stopped and talked to him for a second, if only. This is a great lesson to stop and listen to those you love, tell them you love them, spend more time with them....etc, etc.

Dad was a big time family man, I would hope so, he had 10 children. I am very impressed....being the 7Th child, I still got some camera time. The picture in the background is an areal view of our house and property. This hung in our front room my whole life in that house (until mom moved a year after dad died)(now it hangs in my mom's garage in Utah)



We had a ranch/cabin near McCall, ID. We would go there often to fish, float the river, cut trees for wood and hang as a family. This picture tells how he won't be beat by sickness. In the middle of a 6 month bout with cancer and chemo, he still takes us to the ranch and actually does things with his children.
This isn't the best picture of dad, his hair grew back white after chemo, but he has a smile on his face and so do we. Aaron,Me,Kass


I put this picture in, because it reminds me of how unselfish my dad was. This car, a VW Rabbit, was his "baby" at the time. This was the "fun" car back in those days. My dad let me-15, Jenna-17, Anny 13/14, and Kass-9, drive from Boise to Sacramento, CA a 10 hour drive, by ourselves, for spring break. We had a fabulous time with our sister Rhonda who was living there. On the way home, I was driving in the middle of Nevada (I did have a licence), it started to snow and the next things I know I am zigzagging down the road, we finally went off the road and rolled the car about three times. Landing upside down. (this is another story) The point.....I was worried and scared the whole time that dad was going to kill me, this was HIS car. When we did talk to him, he didn't say one thing about it. He just wanted to make sure we were o.k. and getting us home.


During the week after dad died, we received many poinsettia plants from different people. Our house was filled with these plants. Since then, I have always had a few plants around the house during Christmas.




I know this was long, and probably doesn't make much sense, but I wanted to put my memories and story down for my family so they will know these things.

How grateful I am to know the plan of our Heavenly Father. To know that I will see my dad again. To know that he was needed to further the work. I am thankful for his example he left and for the memories he left for us to ponder.